Hello applicants!
Please use this checklist to help you in the application process.
We require:
Your current GPA and test scores (Under 4.2 and 2400 need not apply)
A list of extracurricular (preferably around fifteen but ten is acceptable)
Glowing recommendations from teachers, counselors, and Mr. Barack Obama
Your up to date financial information including weekly grocery expenses
Your family history with a detailed pedigree chart as far back as B.C.E.
An essay so personal you’ve stained it with your tears (yes, we count them)
Your proudest accomplishment; for example, adopting a third-world orphan
And finally
A personal statement telling us why you deserve to be part of the 5% we accept
Thank you for applying to our university! Your interest means a lot to us.
A Disclaimer:
Meeting these qualifications guarantees nothing.

Anna Meehan ’17