Ripley’s Wild Rollercoaster

Welcome to Ripley’s Wild Roller Coaster. Grab a seat, buckle up, and get ready to ride!
Just a Wild Ripley Reminder for our passengers, please keep all your phalanges, radii, and humeri inside the car today, although humor-i is always welcome!
If you’re wearing a hat you should take it off because not only is it a bad idea to wear a hat on a rollercoaster, but also Staff will probably make fun of you!
If you feel signs of headache or nausea then why did you get on the ride in the first place! It’s Ripley’s Wild Roller Coaster not Ripley’s Chill and Relaxed Fun Train! Come on people!
At Ripley’s we do not allow cameras, flash photography, infants, (finish this with some weirdly escalating objects) on the ride at any time.
Well, now that we’re all thoroughly strapped in and have signed our release forms indicating that Ripley’s is in no way shape or form responsible for any accident or injury that may occur on the death train I mean ride, enjoy your time on Ripley’s Wild Rollercoaster!

Claire Fenerty ’16

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